“When Nobody’s Home…”Bullies come in all sizes

In reading the article about the anti-bullying program I am curious if anyone has taken the time to look into the home life of the children that are doing the bullying?  As a Probation Officer that has conducted over 8000 interviews with individuals with a history of criminal behavior I have discovered that bullying is a learned behavior.  The large majority of these individuals come from a single parent household, absentee father, no supervision, various forms of abuse and no connection with their primary caretakers. These bullies are taking out there aggression on other kids because they are trying to get certain social/emotional needs met by diminishing the value of another person due to specific needs not being met at home. In other words, the bullied kid are paying for the bullies lack of self-worth, lack of empowerment, and choice in the home to name a few.  We need to remember that a child doesn’t bully unless he is getting something out of the experience of bullying.  On the flip side, a child who is supportive and cares for others is getting something out the experience as well.  Maybe their need for contribution.  Therefore, we need to gain understanding and empathy as to what the “bully” is experiencing at home so we can isolate the genesis of the problem and not the child.

The one common denominator that I have observed over the years are that any child, no matter the social economic status, will have the propensity to bully depending on their self image and the amount of neglect, emotional and physical abuse they have endured over the years within the family dynamic or a traumatic experience.

As we observe what is trending in today’s headlines, please note that “bullying” does not stop in high school.

When Nobody’s Home…An in-depth look at Drug Dependency through the eyes of a Probation Officer

Michael Oden, MA., Author

The Needs Based Method®
Corporate, Behavioral & Wellness Consultants

L.E.T.U.S:”Life Elevated Through Understanding and Self-Awareness”


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